ReAnn Rothwell’s Money Saving Ideas, Tax & Organizing Tips

April 15^th and some of you are out there scrambling to make tonight’s tax deadline. Here are a few tax jokes to lighten your day….

People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women.

What do you throw to a drowning I.R.S. agent?

His co-workers.

A dollar saved is a dollar taxed.

“It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required.”

“You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls “simplified,” which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last names. . . . The IRS wants you to use the short form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.”

Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves. The IRS is of the same opinion.

You must pay taxes. However, there is no law that says you gotta leave a tip.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.”

“Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what is called a red flag. That is something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.”  (Jay Leno)

Post Office just recalled their newest stamps: They had pictures of IRS agents on them, and people could not figure out which side to spit on.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?

What do you call 25 skydiving I.R.S. agents?

Skeet.

A taxpayer received a strongly worded “second notice” that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.

“Oh,” confided the collector with a smile, “we don’t send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective.”

And Finally:

An executive on his deathbed called his friend and said, “Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.”

“And what,” his friend asked, “do you want me to do with your ashes?”

The executive said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, “Now you have everything.”